Z. wanted to see me, to show me something she was making for the Church. That was on a Sunday, and I said I could see her on the Friday. She demanded to see me sooner. I said I couldn’t make it sooner. In the meantime, I went to see E. on Thursday (an appointment I had made earlier). E. wanted to make a donation to a charitable fund. But Z. had heard that I had this appointment with E. She rang E.’s doorbell, pushed her way in, opened a bottle of wine, and downed half of it. When I arrived, Z. said, “So, as soon as someone has their pen poised over a cheque, you come running! But you can’t come to see me!?” E. apologised, and said she hadn’t been able to stop Z. Anyway, in short, our Church leadership asked to see Z. She refused, and handed in her resignation from membership.
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Nieuwoudtville, where I recently holed up to study, is a town surrounded by ruins. This is one of many -- in 3-D. OBSERVATION: Here’s how to “see” the 3-D. Lazily squint your eyes until the two images overlap each other, then focus your eyes without losing that overlap. Most people are able to do this. You can enlarge the image by clicking on it, which will enhance the 3-D effect.
There was a "mutinous crowd" at the Church’s front gate last night. A zombie-like man sought to intimidate me. I said, “Do I know you?” He said, “No.” I felt under threat of attack. I jumped through the Church gate -- but I couldn't find the key fast enough to lock it -- so I went for the Church door -- no hitch there, and I slammed it shut. But there were two events taking place inside -- and one of them was guarded by a lone woman at an open door. I called the police once, twice, with no response in an hour. I called them a third time, and asked for a police captain. He promised speedy intervention. Then I slipped out of the property through a safe exit. OBSERVATION: Generally speaking, I am impressed with the way the Sea Point Police have got our suburb under control, but one still encounters this kind of thing from time to time.
We had a Professor of Conflict Resolution Studies over for dinner. He asked me, “How do you minimise conflict in the Church?” I said, “At the lowest level of tension, I respond to people on the spot, zero delay. If I’m awake, I don’t let people just get away with inappropriate remarks -- although I want to be cordial about it -- so there’s a latent culture of discipline.” He said, “Sounds good!” OBSERVATION: Perhaps we’ll put up a sign now: “This Church has professorial approval in conflict resolution.”
A young prostitute came to see me in my vestry. She was a plump thing, stuffed into a dress. She said she had been to see a fortune teller. She said the fortune teller had terrified her with evil prognoses. Also, she was traumatised by her work -- unable to keep her food down. She was very tearful. I said she shouldn’t listen to fortune tellers, but God, and I ran her through the basics of repentance and faith. OBSERVATION: But I thought afterwards, what if the fortune teller was right? Perhaps she should have been terrified. I was surprised about the fortune teller, too -- surely they forecast good things?
I went to see a prominent businessman in hospital tonight. He's a "friend of the Church". He was pistol-whipped. I said, "I hear you wouldn't hand over the keys?" He said, "No! I held them out like this!" (he showed me how, his hand trembling). He said, "I don't know what they were thinking! They hit me over the head with a gun, and I went flying across the floor. Then they couldn't find the right key [to the safe]. They made me get up again." OBSERVATION: Said businessman suffered a depressed cranium (potentially fatal), and was operated on to lift it -- but he looks good. The robbers walked in during business hours, then hid themselves on the premises. They were caught on video.
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With regard to last Thursday's post below, I have now hammered out a "Posting Policy", which I have inserted in the left hand column of this blog. At this stage, it is provisional -- due to be discussed over lunch tomorrow with my mentor. Does it seem adequate? I hope so. OBSERVATION: According to the suggested Posting Policy, nearly half the posts on this page would be handled differently. But where does one fit a post such as "Presbyterian Minister", last week? Is it public, or private? Perhaps it falls under my "good faith" clause.
I regret that I am again putting my blog on hold. The reason is that I have again run into issues of "discretion". I'll be specific about the latest problem. While I believe that few if any people would recognise who I am blogging about (I conceal identities by changing names, places, times, and gender), it is said that the people themselves would recognise themselves, and that this would equate to a breach of trust. It seems more difficult than I anticipated, two years ago, to blog about urban ministry "as it is".
Mark Penrith comments on my circumspect blogging: “So how do you shoot straight ... ?” I don’t think one can. To be specific, here are some of the things I haven’t put on my blog (even though I have written some of them up): a Church member discovers he has AIDS, a public servant squanders a million, an office-bearer screams at me, what a man tells me before he kills himself, legal action I am involved in, the neighbours, a member’s sexual revelations, private advices to my assistant ... and so on. OBSERVATION: But I might yet post one or two! Watch this blog.
Two weeks ago, I predicted a suicide attempt -- to wife M. I was right about that -- but I wouldn’t have guessed I was so close. I said that it would be an attention-getting attempt -- and so it was. JR Clinton insists that counselees must be “obedient”, otherwise the counselling is off -- although I myself am not nearly as strict as Clinton. Earlier this year, I stopped counselling the man concerned, because I sensed that it was all about me-me-me. The counsellor, in such a situation, is just fuelling the problem, not remedying it. Further, I told him that there was a fundamental spiritual problem. It should be all about Christ, not about me-me-me. If you can’t get your eyes off “me” for one minute, you don’t know Him.
A common spiritual snag, which I encounter often in Christian counselling, is the person who tries to figure out God’s will for him/her, without taking into consideration that God is in charge of the process. A similar spiritual snag is the person who tries to resolve issues inside his/her head, without taking into consideration that God is guiding the process. One doesn’t need to do God’s work for Him. OBSERVATION: On the other hand, there may be those who have little interest in God’s will, or in the issues. That is not the way, either. In that case, rather the other extreme.
“Libel” is an interesting word. It used to mean “charges”. But since charges were so often false (those perfidious English), the meaning changed. Speaking of which, as early as the 4th October 2006, the online magazine Ars Technica warned that bloggers were increasingly being sued for libel. This included “religious criticism” and “public gossip”. OBSERVATION: I have blogged a few times about my own qualms over what I should or should not post. I think I’ve found a way (some of my thinking appears in the column on the left).
I always address, in our Church’s monthly newsletter, matters I consider to be relevant to the spiritual health of the Church. In our latest newsletter (called Cong News) I emphasise -- as one of the greatest needs / lacks in the Church today -- the need for faithfulness in Church attendance. I refer to the doctrine of the means of grace, which was once famously summed up as follows: “The Holy Spirit can, but does not ordinarily, work without the Word” -- where the Word usually refers to the Word of God preached. Berkhof’s Systematic Theology has a useful section on this. So I say it is not just about whether I feel like attending Church today, and it is not just about a feeling that I get to carry with me for a while after the service, and it is not just about whether the service was good today or not. It is about what I know and believe about how God works. Neglect the means of grace, and you've stalled, and discarded a section of your spiritual progress. OBSERVATION: In our newsletter, I refer also to my own faithfulness when I am off duty.
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A congregant said recently, with reference to our associate Church: “They have the devil’s music.” Another congregant commented: “And we have the devil’s wife.” OBSERVATION: There surely is not a soul in our Church who shares our congregant’s view about the music. I doubt that she even knows what music they play. I have noted in my monthly newsletter (directly but gently) that such talk is not on.
Hah, my examiner was fired today. My seminary, though, put it more advisedly than that: “We have ... approached a second examiner who will begin working on your examination shortly.” The examination of my final Master’s thesis had dragged into its fourth month.
I went to see an old woman in hospital, who is having a “fair operation”. She said, “People are not afraid that they will die, but how they will die.” I said, “No, it’s both. I have been at a hundred deathbeds at least. Sometimes people are very afraid that they will die.” She said, “Oh! I guess one would be, without the forgiveness of sins.” OBSERVATION: And some people are afraid of neither. It has a lot to do with faith.
An elderly local in the Northern Cape passed me in the street, and said to me: “Julle boere moet vrek!” (“You farmers must die [a word applied to animals]”). I said, “I’m not a farmer, I’m a dominee.” He said, “Then be sure to behave like a dominee!” OBSERVATION: I found such sentiment to be widespread in the Northern Cape. Personally, if I were a farmer, I’d want to engage in a few big-hearted gestures to enhance the farmers’ image.
There is the danger that one may become “scattered” in ministry. Recently, on this blog, I summed up some of my activity following my recent leave. I was scattering my energies like confetti. The hazard then is that public ministry (to the congregation as a whole) becomes just a part of the general “scattering”, while it should have a steady focus. That applies not only to the Sunday worship. It means also that one will give members a sense of cohesion. One owes it to them not to make them, too, feel that there is just a “scatteredness” about the Church. I shall be giving this special attention this coming week.
I have an aversion to the word “community”. In fact, one of the core differences between the Church in the Global North and the Church in the Global South is the emphasis of the North on “community”, while the notion is all but unheard of in (large parts of) the South. Community -- it has the feel for me of a new legalism, with all the fear of failure. The focus of the Church is on exalting Christ, not on creating community. Community, in my experience, is an inevitable consequence of knowing Christ -- but the more it becomes an end in itself, the more it spells trouble in the Church. See also Community and Disintegration.
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I took this photo of our suburb (Sea Point) at sunrise this morning. The suburb was covered with a fine mist. This is the view that I see most days of the week, on my way to the Church from home (which is up the hill to the right). Our Church is close to the skyscraper on the far left.
I asked an elder of a local Church recently, “What does your Church do for the poor?” He looked perplexed, and said, “We ARE the poor!” Recently I heard an American preacher say, “We are God’s hands.” Yet millions of hands are empty. They have nothing to give -- and there are none to receive. During my studies in the USA, we needed to read a book, “God of the Empty-Handed.” I interpreted the empty-handed as me (and so did, I think, the author). The American students interpreted it as the poor. OBSERVATION: What does one have left to give, then? I have seen that the gift of faith can light up any life.
Our intern P. and I went to see a beautiful young wife and mother this morning, who has cancer. The doctors had hoped they had arrested it -- but that was not to be so. I asked her how she was coping. She was cheerful -- buoyant. She said she was coping well, through faith and prayer. Faith in God, that is, not faith in healing. But she was concerned about her husband, she said. So P. and I went to see him at his place of work. He was emotional. He said, “I have seen it. So many people in her situation just give up. But she ... I don’t have words.”
As if students are the only ones who have worries about their results. My seminary aims for an external examination process of “a maximum of six weeks”. However, my final thesis is into its fifteenth week. My supervisor e-mailed me last night: “I am just as anxious to hear whether he [the external examiner] agrees with our opinion. If you hear something please let me know immediately. Thank you!” OBSERVATION: This could all be my fault. I wrote a postmodern piece for an evangelical seminary (more like a book). Wife M. claims that I can’t do anything the stock-standard way.
A member came to see me today asking for prayer -- for her son. He was pushed off a train, lost a leg, and was awarded R1.5 million compensation. But now he was drinking himself to death. She said, “He acts as though he’s incapable of anything. It’s just a leg!” OBSERVATION: One finds this often. People who “have it made” are throwing their lives away. I consider that it’s a matter of spiritual orientation. Once you surrender your life to God, you have the larger purpose.
This is how my conversation went with our Church organist on Sunday. She (pointing to a panel that had come loose): “This Church is falling apart.” Me: “Are you complaining again?” She: “I love complaining.” Me: “There, I half fixed it.” She: “Half fixed it?” Me: “We believe in half-measures here.” OBSERVATION: She and I have something in common. Two years ago, we both landed in hospital with rheumatic fever. Actually, this reminds me, we should get that panel fixed.
Recently our Church leadership put a proposal to the members -- which was rejected. At the leadership meeting which followed, I said: “The Lord has spoken.” (I have now decided that this is how ministers get lynched). Actually, it’s in our constitution, and it’s classic Congregationalism: “Their [the Church’s] findings are those which He [Christ] imparts.” OBSERVATION: I think this is vital from the point of view of praxis (apart from the theological aspect). It respects decisions as sacred. It removes any tensions over those decisions -- because this was of God. It prevents elitism -- the decisions aren’t anybody’s triumph or defeat, but imparted by Christ. It prevents picking the decisions apart -- questions as to who voted which way and why -- because God is One. And it prevents the urge to humanly change what God has revealed -- that is, to continue to press one’s own influence.
For those who don’t follow the South African blogosphere, the hottest Religion post in all the roiling subcontinent at the moment is (wait for it) a photo that I took of coffee in a cup. For a long time, my most popular post was one about a dumb bird called the hadeda. Steve Hayes, currently the top Christian blogger in South Africa, has had similar stories to tell. The moment one speaks nonsense, one’s popularity shoots up. Maybe I should try it in a Sunday service.
It’s interesting that people within the Church seldom show disrespect for the ministry, while one keeps encountering people outside of the Church who show an astonishing disrespect or hostility. These two reactions stand in glaring contrast. I sometimes think to myself: “It would be impossible for a Church member to react like this. What planet are they on?” The strange thing is that those who show the disrespect frequently have close to no idea of what ministry is about. One wonders what is going on, and I don’t think it’s merely that the faithful believe.
I received a special request to do a Bible study on Church discipline, so I started a two-session study tonight. I am using an excellent resource, which is to be found at http://bible.org/article/church-discipline. I find it to be comprehensive, balanced, and mature. If certain problems in the Church are not tackled decisively, it says, one finds the "rotten apple" effect, or the "snowball" effect -- which is the "leaven" effect of the Bible. One finds a loss of purity, a loss of power, a loss of progress, and a loss of purpose. Yet discipline is not about “a church’s taboos or pet peeves”, nor are we to be “speck inspectors”. OBSERVATION: As hard as it has been, I have previously listed Church discipline as a key factor in the “success” of our Church. See, for example, After The Graveyard. Also, I know a few Churches which I would consider to have foundered on a lack of discipline. (Five of my posts during the past month have touched on discipline).
On a Sunday morning, I typically take an existing prayer and write all over it to modify it or adapt it for the service. The existing text “prompts” me. In this, there is one kind of change that I make more often than others. I often refer a prayer back to God. Here is an example. This Sunday my existing prayer started with the words: “Almighty God, You have set aside this day for us as a day of rest and spiritual refreshment ...” Yet this is speaking about a day, and about us -- not about God (although it does address God). I modified it something like this: “Almighty God, you are a God of peace. You are sovereign. There is nothing that troubles You as it troubles us ...” From there I then applied the concepts of rest and spiritual refreshment. And so I go through an entire prayer, re-inserting God into what would otherwise merely seem to be a lot of talk at times.
[Continued from the previous post ...] I called Rev. Y. I said, “What’s the story?’ He said, “The man is an alcoholic. He beat his wife, and she sought refuge at the Church. I took her in, temporarily. Then she filed for divorce.” Well, one can see how this might be construed. Anyway, Rev. Y. contacted the man, and apologised unreservedly for any distress that he might have caused him. The man accepted, and the vendetta ended. OBSERVATION: Yet notice that it wasn’t really an unqualified apology. Regrettably, Rev. Y. didn’t have the heart to go on in pastoral ministry. It was quite a serious vendetta.
A man called me (I don’t know his name), saying that a city minister, Rev. Y., had ruined his reputation. Therefore he was going to ruin his. He said the whole city was going to know what a lowlife he was, and I was no. 24 on his list. I said, “How long is your list?” He said, “Fifty. The media are at the top [he read to me off the top of the list, commenting on the status of each contact].” I said, “What would it take for me to be the last person on your list?” He said, “An unqualified apology from Rev. Y.” I said, “Let me see what I can do. I’ll get back to you today.” [Continued in the next post ...]
I make my way early to the Church on a Sunday, where I prepare the order of service and the prayers. But I was dead on my feet this morning. I had nothing in me, before I even started. I sat down at my desk. I stared at the page, pencil in hand, and didn’t have a word to write. I walked around the Church. I sat down again at my desk. I walked around the Church. I prayed for God to have mercy and to give me life. OBSERVATION: Which He did, and I doubt that anyone noticed I'd had the struggle.
One of our members came to me after the service today, looking shaken. He had, incidentally, been the “perfect cad” -- he had given a consummate performance in doing damage through sin. He said, “How can I repent of my sins?” I told him that God had done a gracious work in his heart, to bring him to this point. I explained to him the basics of repentance, and led him through the Sinner’s Prayer. OBSERVATION: I wish I could share how God brought him to this point, but that’s (even more) confidential. I am amazed by some people’s repentance. In human terms, it seems impossible. Then it happens.
I walked into one of our tenants’ offices this morning. One of the secretaries there, Anna*, had a toddler clinging to her leg. I said, “Oh, how many children do you have now?” She gave me “the look”, with two dark brown eyes. Wrong question. Later I walked in again, apologised light-heartedly for my inappropriate question, and gave her a historical brochure of our Church “as a memento of your wedding in our Church”. She said, “I’m Anna. That was Hanna [another secretary]. Hanna has gone abroad. You married Hanna.” OBSERVATION: I guess a minister can’t always get it right!
* Names changed to save me further embarrassment.
I met Pastor E. tonight, in a bookstore. He is with Point Community Church. He introduced me to his wife. I asked her what her role was in the Church. She said, “To be a support to my husband.” OBSERVATION: Wife M. and I take the view that the reason that one supports one’s husband (or wife) in ministry is his calling and anointing. To put it another way: it is because of what God has chosen to do through him, by His grace, that one supports him (or her). Ministry is spiritual warfare, even if it is waged at a “latent” level much of the time. In this context, it is common for a minister’s wife to become nervous, even panicky about her husband’s work, rather than a true support. It is not like other professions. A minister's wife requires the eye of faith.
[Continued from the previous post ...] Wife M., the fireman, and the police all arrived at the door at about the same time. The door was locked. The fireman said to the police, “Break the door open!” The police said that they didn’t have the authority to go breaking anything. Wife M. gave the fireman her shoe. He smashed the glass (the door had glass panels) and they got inside. The man who had threatened suicide was in the bathroom, hanging above the bath, and his face was blue. They cut him down and revived him. Wife M., however, was ill for two weeks after that.
This is one of my “undated” stories of ministry in this Church. A man called wife M., threatening to commit suicide. She asked him where he was -- and he gave her an accurate answer. Then she handed over the telephone to me. She jumped in the car and raced over to his place, perhaps fifteen kilometres (nine miles) away. He told me that he had set an alarm clock, and that as soon as it went off, he would kill himself. He said there was nothing I could say to change his mind. The alarm went off, and he put down the phone. I called a fireman. I also called the police. [Continued in the next post ...]
Our annual Church Fête is approaching. There was a suggestion in our leadership meeting tonight that we should appeal for one type, or class, of things to be donated each week. A deaconess (married) said, “We could ask people to donate husbands.” A deacon said, “You can’t give those away!” This led somehow to the subject of Women’s Day this weekend. A deaconess said (I wrote it down): “That’s patronising! It’s condescending! One day! It should be Women’s Day every day!”
A thesis or academic paper requires quite a combination of know-how. But beyond the usual academic advices, I have found two to be particularly helpful. I received these from Dr. Vincent Atterbury, my M.Th. supervisor: 1. “You have mastered the subject, now demonstrate it!” This means, write as one who is competent, authoritative. And 2. “If that's what you mean, why don't you say it?” It’s easy to drop from your text what you are really thinking.
Today my final Master’s thesis enters its fourth month with the examiners. Seminaries have their various “protocols”, and mine (SATS) endeavours to examine a final thesis within six weeks. Needless to say, we are way, way into overtime. OBSERVATION: The official line is that “the thesis is still with the external examiner”. My latest theory is that the examiner suffered apoplexy while reading it, and needs recovery time.
A visitor came to address our Women’s Association this morning. She was a little plump. At the same time, Weigh Less was hiring the neighbouring hall. She happened to walk in through the Weigh Less entrance, rather than the entrance to our Women’s Association. Our secretary asked her, “Are you looking for Weigh Less?” Then, on the way out, our visitor especially stopped to greet me as minister. I thought that therefore she might be a new instructor with Weigh Less. I asked her, “Are you with Weigh Less?” OBSERVATION: We didn’t mean it -- honest!
I started an xcopy on my Windows system today -- which duly laid the whole system lame (so much for multitasking). So I am posting this from a Linux netbook computer -- to extol the virtues of Linux. I am impressed with Linux. I used it for a few weeks for my recent study break, and it was slick and close to flawless. OBSERVATION: Apart from an SD card that was cranky, the only failure was a Microsoft message that popped up (on my Linux computer!) informing me that it refused to execute a program. I rest my case.
One of our members, a mother, a refugee from Central Africa, called me in a panic. She said, “They’ve planted a bomb in front of my door!” While I’m no bomb disposal expert, I thought the chances that it was a bomb were slim. I went over. I asked her, “Where is the bomb?” She said, “It’s in that plant pot!” (there was a plant pot about two metres/yards from the front door). It looked like an ordinary plant pot to me -- with a plant in it. She said that someone had deposited it there sometime after the previous afternoon. I said, “It’s common practice here to deposit pot plants in places to make an empty building seem more inviting.” She settled down. OBSERVATION: This is an otherwise level-headed woman. Perhaps it invoked some memories of her past.
amatomu.com is messin' wid me. I trust dat dey trembles in their shoes as they read that line. For those further afield, amatomu.com is "the South African blogosphere, sorted". According to Sitemeter, my daily blog stats are about as steady as they come. At the same time, amatomu.com has my stats bobbing up and down like a cork on the ocean, and waaay down today. With this, my amatomu.com ranking bobs around, too. See also amatomu.com [2].
The minister, in our Church (myself), administers a fund for the poor. However, within the past few days, I have “blown” an entire month’s charity, in response to three situations: a woman who was going hungry so that her children could eat, a woman who was on the street with two children, and a pensioner who had no money for groceries (all associated with our Church). And that’s it. The fund is empty -- until September. OBSERVATION: If August is a typical month, I might receive ten times as many requests before the month is through, and you can guess who needs to turn them down. That's without requests which are directed to our Care and Share fund.
What fills a minister’s day? In North America, ministers will typically spend more than half of their time dealing with conflict (says Clinton), while they experience “enormous pressure” to strategise effectively (says Blackaby). This would have to mean that typical pastoral duties get "crowded out". OBSERVATION: This is not my experience of ministry, but then I don’t follow a typical North American leadership model. I would estimate that I spend less than 10% of my time on conflict and strategy. What frees up one’s time, in my view, is when one “releases the steering wheel”.
Our elders and I met this morning with W., a woman who has applied for membership -- but she is living together (cohabiting). It is a 25-year relationship with two children. I told W. that she qualified in every respect for membership -- except one, and that this could be mended. I said that cohabitation was problematic because: 1. what are we going to tell our youth if it’s OK for others after 25 years? our youth are dying through cohabitation (see Shock Death), 2. the Bible does not condone cohabitation (e.g. Exod 22:16), and 3. there are people who feel strongly about it in the Church -- particularly those who have done it themselves in the past. Our elder J. added that the Bible is the truth, and we need to believe it. She also noted that the youth live by example. Our elder C. quoted an African proverb, and said that W. shouldn’t be afraid of marriage by looking at other marriages, but to trust God. OBSERVATION: It was a warm and personable meeting, the way I think it should have been. W. was receptive to what we said.
