I confess there are times when I find it hard to tell the difference between what happened in my dreams, or in one of the various realities (if only I could remember which one) I occupy. The trouble is, I think, that I see too many people too fast. If only I had the time to pause: “OK, A. told me that she hears voices.” But if after A., without skipping a beat, I see B. and C. through to Q., it can get confusing. OBSERVATION: Perhaps President Obama has the same: “Did I bomb Baghdad last night, or did I only dream it? Did I say that to my Secretary of State, or to my Chief of Staff? Did that happen in the Oval Office, or on Air Force One?” However, I should balance this by saying that I do remember most things quite well!
Last night I received a list of final edits for my Master's thesis. That is, my Master's degree is complete, and the thesis has received a final mark/grade -- on condition that I do the edits. My supervisor writes: "The good news is that this will be your last and final work on this thesis." There are nine items on the list of edits. Some of these are sweeping. OBSERVATION: Mostly it is issues of style and format. For instance, I need to turn lists into prose, I need to remove references in the thesis to the thesis, I need to strip out semi-colons ... and so on.
Another urban minister e-mailed me: "I wanted to ask you something. Have you had letters ... which prophesy a curse upon you? If indeed what did you do about it besides pray?" I wrote back: "There is no curse over the Church. Only blessing. Every curse is broken through Jesus Christ." I quoted 1 Jn 5:18: "Anyone born of God ... the evil one cannot harm him" (1 Jn 5:18). OBSERVATION: I have had similar experience, though not lately.
Here it is, for the first time: my salary, to the nearest R100. My salary before tax is R8,700 a month ($1,200/€800). Tax is just short of 20%. In addition, I receive a modest pension, a travel allowance, a hospital plan, and “free” accommodation. OBSERVATION: I receive R1,700 a month for the “free” accommodation (the traditional provision of a manse) – all of which goes straight to the state. This is a curious state of affairs -- but it's the way the system works. In short, there is no provision for accommodation post-ministry. See also Extravagant Salary?
I have two computers. One uses Windows xp, the other Linux Fedora. Every time a new version of Windows comes out, Linux (TuxRadar) does a comparison. TuxRadar's summary this time round: “There's nothing in Windows 7 that Linux can't do, and in most cases, do it better.” Then follows a heated readers' debate. So Windows 7 boots up in an amazing 60 seconds – on a “clean” system, that is -- five seconds faster than the “failed” Vista. But compare that with my Linux Fedora's 19 seconds, even after various applications have been installed on the system. OBSERVATION: Arguments here or there, I know that Linux is so much more pleasant to use than my Windows xp. Not to speak of it being free. However, it has to be said that it can be a nightmare to install new programs with Linux if you are not a geek.
Tonight I reported a crime at our local police station (see Sunday's post). Having a rich and varied experience with crime, I prepared a flawless statement in advance. This meant that I whizzed through the system in 50 minutes flat. But to begin with, the police officer couldn't find the required form (call it Form 1). "We are out of supplies," he said. This was only the beginning, as the same happened with Form 2. Then he couldn't find a pen that worked. Finally, he discovered that they had run out of Form 3. At this, we both burst out laughing. OBSERVATION: No doubt a case over over-demand! It's a bit of a shambles here, but in general I find that the police are a pleasant bunch, who are ready to help.
I gave our intern P. an interesting academic assignment this week: to trace God's activity in Nehemiah chapters 1-2. Nehemiah is frequently held up as an example in the leadership literature, with the focus generally being on “how great he was” (Ted Engstrom) -- not seldom to the exclusion of the role of God in the story. P. discovered: “While it is clear that he is a man of rank and capability, he is always pointing to God.” This is a crucial observation, which P. expands upon: “Nehemiah could have taken the position that he … would be able to pull things together through his own influence and character, but he is very deliberate about making it about what God is doing, and giving credit to God.”
I met with a male prostitute earlier this week (our Church is situated a few hundred metres from the best known pick-up area in the city). He was dressed in a breezy shirt and designer spectacles. He said he needed money for food, and couldn't stand working the strip that evening. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and helped him out. He said, "Can I come to you sometime to talk about this? I can talk to nobody. Nobody."
Having much experience with refugees, I find that a certain kind of refugee, as a rule, never makes it, while another kind, as a rule, always does -- and it would all seem to have to do with their basic spiritual orientation. The kind that makes it takes up his/her cross and bears it. This means that he/she may accept humble labour, with hardship and not seldom injustice, and trusts in God. The kind that doesn't make it bobs and weaves, and does every opportunistic thing to get ahead, including unethical / illegal behaviour. At best, such refugees would always seem to be slipping back to the bottom. At worst, they end up dead, or in very serious trouble. OBSERVATION: Proof again that "Blessed is the man ... Not so the wicked ..." (Psalm 1).
And then I was flattened last week by something that seemed very suspiciously like a Micronesian parasite. The only thing that didn't fit was that Micronesia is on the opposite side of the globe, and I haven't been there for years. I looked it up in the medical dictionary. It said the parasite could pounce again after years of dormancy. OBSERVATION: It's the kind of parasite that needs multiple medical tests to see what it's up to, and usually the body "fixes" it (that is, you'd be cracking a nut with a sledgehammer by getting checked out). I am now much recovered. I needed to catch up on work later in the week.
On Saturday night, I met with a detective at our local police station. Some lunatic had ordered me to get off his "turf" -- which happened to be our Church's address! Writing it up for a blog post, it sounds absurd. Wife M. asked me, "Is this a newcomer?" I said, "Yes." You see, he might have noticed that there weren't any other small-time mafiosos like him around. What happened to them? OBSERVATION: Actually, I consider myself lucky not have got whacked this past week. But that's another story -- rather, it's another part of the same story. I have had enough, and don't wish to blog about it.
Last month, we decided to sponsor four (very) poor children to go on a Christian camp. Today, their whole Sunday School came over to our Church to thank us. Here they are performing an item. We took up a special collection for them, too, at the end of the service. Unfortunately the photo's a bit blurred, but ... you "get the picture". You may enlarge a little by clicking on it.
It was the best of days, the worst of days, today. Anyway, here's the best of it. I spent three hours with our Youth Choir recording songs for a CD. I myself took charge of the recording equipment and the sound editor. We recorded four songs with twenty-four attempts -- in four languages. Two of the group have previously released a CD (that's I., on the left, and F., centre), so they have an excellent feel for what's needed. OBSERVATION: It may not be perfect, but I think this will be a very nice CD. This group is good. The photo shows the group recording. You may click on it to enlarge.
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Our Church's "social contribution" amounts to about R100,000 a year ($14,000 / €9,000). The donation of our premises to worthy causes represents a significant percentage of this. This morning I took this photo of a function of the Maryland Literacy Programme at our Church, at which they were honouring their volunteers. We donate our premises to Maryland. OBSERVATION: The photo was "colourised" with Linux GIMP.
I did a few “super-searches” on me, of the kind that people seem to dread. Some of these were US-centric, so not of much use. Two searches of wide appeal are http://pipl.com and http://www.123people.co.uk. The results didn't yield a balanced impression, if one would simply want a "picture" of me. However, they were fairly tame. http://www.123people.co.uk delivered a few surprises. For instance, it displayed my US student ID photo – which I never published anywhere -- and can't find myself. Where did it get that? It didn't say. OBSERVATION: At a price, you can resort to “reputation control”!
I wonder whether you have read The Prince of Tides. There is a description in that book of demonic attack. It is close to my experience in ministry. Twice in the past few years, I have had to do with people who had terrifying confrontations with demons. One said that demons were urging him to kill himself -- but he argued with them. Another said that demons were mocking him -- and he killed himself. In both cases, the demons appeared in front of them when wide awake. OBSERVATION: The descriptions were terrifying. I'm passing on what I was told, not interpreting.
Here's an action shot that was not hard to obtain. This bird attacked the window of my farm cottage hundreds of times last week. When it ran out of energy, it agitatedly paced up and down the window-sill.
One might say that we are not a “doctrinal” Church – in the sense that Biblical doctrines are not an explicit focus in the Church, and we do not mind if people make strange (though not very strange) theological statements. Here are some of the reasons why: 1. The people who make up our Church have very diverse religious, cultural, and Church backgrounds, which run deep, so we set our focus on the signs of God's grace among us, and our common desire to magnify Christ. 2. We are situated in the midst of a traumatised suburb and society, which naturally propels certain Biblical teachings to the fore which may not be part of the usual “stock”. For instance, God's providence is surely more important among us in practice than, say, the doctrine of baptism. And 3. we have among us a mix of mature Christians, and very new Christians with little Christian background. In such a situation, the reality of Christian living together may far outweigh correctness while we give people room for “catchup”. OBSERVATION: This does not mean that we neglect doctrine. During any given year, my preaching and teaching covers a considerable range. However, we prefer to let this soak in like rain on the ground. We let God do His work in His good time through the Holy Spirit. We thrive, I think, partly because of the above.
A young wife and mother asked me for an appointment. She described the behaviour of her husband: he spent none of his salary on the home, he was often drunk and abusive, and so on. I said, “This is a basic spiritual problem. He doesn’t know the Lord.” She said, “No, he’s a Christian! He’s been a churchgoer since he was small!” I took a Bible off my vestry shelf and read to her from Galatians 5: “The acts of the sinful nature.” I said, “That’s him, from A to Z. Tell him I want to see him.” She was quiet. She could see the point.
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A young mother called me, asking me to hold a service of dedication for their child – in their home. This would be convenient, she said, both for the parents, and for the wider family. I felt inclined to say that God does not know the word “convenience” – but I did not, for the reason that that may not be where their faith was at (they were involved in the Church, so the dedication itself was not at issue). I did say that, traditionally, the congregation stands at the dedication of a child as a symbol of the involvement of the whole Church in the vows that are made, and they should give this some consideration. OBSERVATION: Should I have said more? Some ministers would have.
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I attended the Verenigende Gereformeerde Kerk (Uniting Reformed Church) in Laaiplek on Sunday (pictured). The service was more formal than what I am used to in this Church. In fact, it was very formal -- not least because the minister fairly dominated the service. Nevertheless, a deep and living faith was evident. Astonishingly, about half the congregation were children or teenagers. You may click on the photo to enlarge (it's about 300k). The photo shows about half -- perhaps only a third -- of the whole congregation.
While I had a week's break, our intern P. preached his final sermon (he leaves us early December). From what I heard from several sources, his preaching was good. In my view (I worked with him on the development of the sermon), it represented a large improvement over his preaching when he first got here. To add a little intrigue to this post, a group of members said they would boycott the sermon, on the basis of his past performance. But they were mistaken. He's not the same preacher. OBSERVATION: So what were some of the strong points? He gave God Himself a central place in the sermon. He succeeded in applying it at a "grassroots" level. He kept a grip on the Bible text. And the sermon was reasonably simple conceptually.
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I was walking down a track last week when I spotted this beastie only three metres / yards away. I stepped back. It turned away, and slithered gracefully down a hole. OBSERVATION: If only humans would do the same! I would guess that this is a very large mole snake -- apparently an aggressive snake which can slice you with its teeth, but non-venemous. It's "the farmer's friend", because it takes care of rodents. You may click on the photo to enlarge (about 400k).
There are women who destroy marriages, and it's not just the predatory kind. An old man told me this story. His wife got a lift home one day with a woman in the village. He said to himself, as he saw her step out of that woman's pickup: “That's the writing on the wall.” Six months later, his wife asked him for a divorce. OBSERVATION: Some women – not seldom through circumstance – are very cynical about marriage. It can too easily rub off, if that's the kind of woman you keep as a friend. I have seen worse. Some women are jealous of a contented marriage. Without having any predatory intentions, they will seek to destroy it.
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This is a panoramic shot of the Berg River wetland on an overcast day (I just spent a week here). There is an amazing variety of bird life: flamingoes, kingfishers, terns, herons, gannets, hawks, sacred ibises, honey-birds, guinea-fowl, seagulls, owls, and so on. You may click on the photo to enlarge (it's 350k). I used a Retinex filter.
quag, n.: a boggy place. As you read this, I shall hopefully be holed up in a cottage at the edge of a quag, called the Berg River wetland. I shall be there for a week. Perfect peace. Do look in again in a week’s time.
Some visitors from Europe were in our service this morning. I inquired of someone how they had experienced it. Apparently they were indignant that people walked in and out of our Church as they pleased -- during the singing, during the prayer, during the collection ... OBSERVATION: I didn’t notice it. I’m so used to it. Actually, I did notice two people colliding in front of the altar!
Every year, we have a Thank-Offering weekend. Members bring a gift for the Church, which I receive in my vestry. They tell me their reasons for thanks to God, and I read some appropriate Bible verses, and say a prayer of thanks. Sometimes people take the opportunity to tell me their troubles, too. However, the outpouring of thanks is profound. I wish everybody could hear what I hear. This year, gifts ranged between R30 and R16,000 ($4 and $2,000). OBSERVATION: I have two sessions in the vestry on our Thank-Offering weekend. This year, during the first session, only two people turned up! However, I've learnt by now that we live by faith, not by sight -- I didn't take it to heart. Dozens of people turned up for the second session.
One of our deacons was attacked in a neighbouring (high class) suburb. It was attempted murder, if one judges by the words of his attacker -- a woman. She said that nobody would touch her if she killed a foreigner in her own country (our deacon holds foreign citizenship -- the woman's words are borne out by a recent BBC Report -- not for sensitive readers). Our deacon got his jacket sliced, but he was unharmed. He was, however, shaken by the incident. See also “Love The Alien As Yourself”.
At our leadership meeting tonight, we briefly touched on "proper channels" in the Church. I had advised a couple, with regard to some concerns that they had: "Leave this with me -- I'll present it to our leadership." In the meantime, however, they must have put it to a dozen people in the Church, most of our leadership included. OBSERVATION: Fortunately, in this case, it wasn't too troublesome a matter -- however, such behaviour can be damaging. Our leadership said tonight that this behaviour should not be overlooked. I should remind the couple that "due process" must be followed in the Church. In fact, several years ago, the Church felt so strongly about this, they wrote it into the Constitution. (On the other hand, one needs to deal faithfully and fully with members' concerns. "Due process" should not be an excuse for sweeping anything under the carpet).
I had a meeting last night concerning our Church’s charitable ministry. Here are some of the issues that came up. What priority does the Church owe to charity vs. spiritual work? What emphasis belongs to charitable ministry within the Church vs. outside the Church? How should we deal with the intense pressure on our charitable funds? Whom should we help? What is the spiritual value of charitable ministry? Why did so many people volunteer for our charitable ministry when they apparently had little or nothing to offer? How might one meaningfully involve them? Should we put out requests for special cash funding? How much of our charitable ministry should be personal, how much corporate? And so on. OBSERVATION: Phew. Some questions.
I recently received a note from the former General Secretary of a denomination: "We have a crisis concerning leadership at present. Whereas previous generations had held with: ‘Whoever wants to be the greatest must be the servant of all,’ the present one thinks: ‘Let's impose our will upon them.’ This is the reason for the disaster ..." OBSERVATION: Personally, I’d cast it in terms of yielding to the Holy Spirit or not, rather than in merely human terms. I think this is the continual struggle of the Church everywhere -- between human control and divine control -- human influence and divine influence -- human will and Spirit. The two stand in stark contrast with one other.
I would think a minister is usually a blessing in people’s lives. But not always. Several years ago, in counselling, a man revealed a serious crime (he was not involved). I passed on information, though not the identity of the man, “the mole”. “The mole”, however, fell under suspicion, and was severely victimised. He made an appointment to see me. He asked only this: “Do they know my name?” I said, “No. I am sure of that.” OBSERVATION: Serious or not, I doubt that I would pass on information about a crime today. I would rather urge people to act responsibly in regard to that crime, and support them.
Recently I blogged about a teenage refugee who came to our Church for help. This week he told me he wanted to go home -- just a fortnight after he’d arrived. I said, “You came so far! Are you homesick? Did you make a mistake? Do you remember why you fled?” He said, “I had hoped to find work here, but I met refugees who have been on the street for two years.” OBSERVATION: Estimates of the number of "forcibly displaced" persons in South Africa vary between about 5% and 20% of the population. Our suburb is a preferred haven -- fairly safe for refugees, but expensive.
You can calculate your life expectancy, free, with an evaluation by Dr. Thomas Perls. Then receive feedback as to how you might lengthen your days. OBSERVATION: I'm informed that I'll live longer if I quit urban ministry and get out of this place! However, that only gives me one year's advantage. Nonetheless, perhaps the state might offer our Church a subsidy, since I'll be a year less burden on the system due to the Church!
A reader of this blog asked me recently what a Church consultant is for. A Church consultant will troubleshoot both ministry and Church. I myself have had the privilege of knowing and being helped by two of the best. They made a critical difference to my ministry -- and I might have learnt even more from them through observation. I would say that, very definitely, Churches need consultants, and ministers should at least have a relationship with one. OBSERVATION: This job is a gift of God, I think, and not a mere function. In many cases, a consultant will also be active in local Church ministry. The diagram should show a whole lot of arrows in the reverse direction.
This morning I preached a sermon on “Scruples” (Romans 14). I was surprised by its popularity. I said that Paul doesn’t even bother to provide answers to the scruples that he lists in that chapter. Rather, the whole of it focuses on people’s love for God: whether you and I can see their love for God, and whether we can see God Himself at work. OBSERVATION: I gave various examples of scruples. Here’s one: Some women came into a Church service I conducted, fired up some Primus stoves, and cooked chicken through the service. I said if you have scruples, you’ll criticise the crazy women. If not, you’ll appreciate their eagerness to hear the Word of God even though they need to cook.
A good friend of mine, a minister, resigned his ministry at a time when his Church was “riding high”. He took a faith decision to “just stand firm, and watch GOD’s saving work for you take shape” -- that is, to wait on God alone for his future, rather than to be proactive in that regard. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and I found myself perplexed by this, as if it were my own situation. OBSERVATION: If this were not a faith decision, I would know what to say. But as soon as one introduces faith into the equation, it takes things out of the realm of normal reasoning.
Further on finance, an urban minister may come under intense pressure to help people financially (see Enormous Pressure). Our Church’s charitable funds are always suffering overload -- and so I frequently give people personal financial assistance. However, there has to be a limit. I set that at 10% of my nett income per month, dividing it into daily amounts in order to keep track. This seems to work for me. OBSERVATION: I am told that such pressure may be felt especially in missions, where missionaries from affluent backgrounds are sent into the midst of poor populations.
About fifteen years ago, our Church’s finances were just a slush fund, and we needed to reinvent ourselves. By now, we have a disciplined, total financial system. One thing about this system is that we freely release audits, budgets, and monthly income / expenditure sheets to members -- on condition of confidentiality. However, the release of more detailed figures requires authorisation. The reason for this is that, all those years ago, experience taught us that throwing details to the winds invites nit-picking. That’s not what we are about.
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Our office secretary received a call from our accountant N., around 8.30 a.m. There was an issue that had to do with me, so she said she would put the call through to me in the vestry. N. said, “Good grief, is he up that early?” Our secretary said, “Sometimes he’s even here before me!” OBSERVATION: Is he up that early? Not always. Also, it's not unusual for me to go to bed at 1.00 a.m.* The photo shows our suburb just after sunrise.
* Leadership gurus Blackaby and Blackaby state: “If pastors want to have credibility with the businessmen in their church who rise at 6:00 ... then they must demonstrate they are equally as diligent”. Yes, but no. This sounds like a recipe for burnout. Business and ministry are like apples and oranges.
Counselling needs to be selfless. One cannot go thinking of the implications for me or for the Church. In the past I have counselled “important people” in the Church, and I told them what I thought they needed to hear. One couple left my vestry speechless and in tears. Our finances could have been impacted. I might have heard about it at the Church Meeting. The next day, though, there was a breakthrough -- how much due to me, I don’t know. OBSERVATION: Very occasionally, this goes wrong, but mostly it strengthens bonds, and proves to be the right way to go.
Yesterday I received my assistant's latest monthly circular letter. This is how he describes his experience of our Church: “It seems to me that when I have my head on straight the joy of ministry becomes more apparent. I have been glad to have had the chance to serve the Church here, and I look forward to two more months of fruitful chaos”. OBSERVATION: I'm pleased he didn't say “fruity chaos”! One thing this demonstrates, though, is that “order” is not the watchword for the thriving Church. I rather enjoy the chaos myself. I don't know what I'd do in one of those dysfunctional Churches where everything's organised (in seriousness, in my view some common forms of organisation may be a sign of serious malaise). See also Kiddy Chaos.
A couple in our Church got married. Then, on their honeymoon, he confessed that he was impotent. She was very, very upset. She said, “Why did you do this to me?” He said, “If I had told you, you wouldn’t have married me.” They adopted two children, and it turned out to be a stable, supportive marriage. OBSERVATION: One more reason for pre-marital counselling!
