Rabbinical Remarriage

A Jewish neighbour told me that they have a law: their rabbi, if his wife dies, must remarry within a month. She said: "It's a very old law. It must have had an origin that made a lot of sense." OBSERVATION: I can just see it. It takes the rabbi a week to get a grip on himself after the shock. Then two weeks for the first woman to turn him down. Then the second woman has one week left to make up her mind ... (It would be interesting how it actually works ...)

Point Community Church

A Church plant in our area -- Point Community Church -- kindly invited me to a (mostly yuppie) informal event tonight. It was the screening of the first in the series Band of Brothers. There were eats on offer, and the screening was followed by critical questions (see photo). OBSERVATION: I had the feeling: "Was that it?" However, I have some doubt that I would be able to tell what "it" is these days. The event was well attended. It would need to be seen within the whole context of that Church.

Monk

One of my closest friends is a Roman Catholic monk. One of his hobbies is cartooning -- and this is a self-portrait. I wink at his rather curious perspectives, and no doubt he does at mine. However, it has been a greatly enriching friendship. Just yesterday I asked him for advice on how to take our Church forward, and his answer was decisive and clear, and confirmed the ghost of an answer that was already in me.

Urban Faith

I received this note (on the right) from a Church member. The key word here is "unendurable" (you may click on the image to enlarge). It reflects a core characteristic of much of the faith that I encounter in our Church -- which is a special characteristic, I think, of urban ministry, and not nearly as pronounced in many other Churches.

The Toughest Vanish

A few weeks ago, I blogged about the return of the toughest to our Church environs -- apparently after their release from jail (see The Toughest Return). Within days, though, they vanished again. A street sweep stood in their place -- hour after hour, holding a big pan with a long handle, and a broom. However, he wasn't one of our regular city sweeps -- and to this day I haven't seen him sweeping. I said: "Who are you?" He said: "I'm a street sweep." I said: "Who employs you?" He said: "A company. This company," and he pointed to a long name embroidered on his belt. I said: "You do seem to keep people off the street here." He said: "I do."

Flashback 1978

This is how Timothy Leary might have seen me in 1978 (I applied a little false colour here). This was not a look that I kept, but it does give an impression of what I looked like at the very start of my theological studies. OBSERVATION: My "flashback" photos have turned out to be quite popular. (Richard Nixon described Timothy Leary as "the most dangerous man in America").

Disproportionate Attention

One of the principles of my ministry -- particularly later ministry -- has been: no disproportionate attention. That is, one may have people in a congregation who would require disproportionate attention if one were to yield to all their needs or attend to all their unhappinesses. I suppose the real principle is again: the hive is greater than the bee (previously mentioned on this blog). In a way, ministry focuses on the well-being of the Church first, individuals second (some ministers get that reversed). Wife M. continually reminded me of this. OBSERVATION: But of course, at times some disproportionate attention is warranted. Also, one isn't too niggardly about the principle.

Decision-Making And Trauma

This is a conversation I have had many times this year: whether to make big decisions following major trauma. Some people say freeze, don't make any major decisions for a year, maybe two. Yet if I look back over my ministry, and try to judge it dispassionately, I have seen several people making fast (big) decisions following major trauma, and these decisions brought lasting blessing. I have not so much (as best my memory serves me) seen the opposite. OBSERVATION: So I think that the stakes may be higher at points of trauma, yet I don't think that the potential for wrong decision-making is higher. However, it would make eminent sense to be prayerful, and aware, if not watchful, of the state one is in. It would be interesting to hear other people's experience on this one.

Getting To Know You ...

My new three-wheeler has taken quite some getting used to. It is so different. But it has been growing on me. I like it. Something that unsettled me at the start was that its rather unique engine has no timing. If a car / automobile did what this one does, it would probably cut out. It hasn't cut out yet.

Views Of Death

I have found very different attitudes to death among different cultural groups in our church. A Black member's White employer collapsed, and they resuscitated him. She commented: "[White people] think that death can always be fixed. We think that death is your companion every day." OBSERVATION: Parratt, an authority on African theology, comments: "In the Western world death is usually regarded as a disaster. ... The African view of death by contrast is rather one of fulfillment."

Making Fire

I bought a flint this morning. A shop assistant said: "They used that on Survivor." I said to another shop assistant: "I was in the mission once. They made fire with sticks. Like this ..." She looked at me as if to say: "Another lunatic." Then: "Oh yeah? Have a good day!"

His Power Through Our Infiirmity

One of my favourite Christian authors of the past -- and I still reach for his books from time to time -- is Dr. Leslie B. Flynn. I stumbled upon a quote today, which I jotted down many years ago -- it is still a core belief of my ministry: "Often what we think a failure in our Christian service turns out to be used of God ... Let us realize the reality of our weakness, and rest in Him who delights to show His power through our infirmity." For a list of Dr. Flynn's books, see Bookfinder: Lesslie B. Flynn.

First Ding

What is it with three-wheel pickups? People seem to bump them, scrape them, and dent them with impunity. My last one even received a dent from above. My new pickup received its first significant ding (see photo) less than two months after purchase -- and no, it's not due to my driving, as much as that might surprise people. This doesn't happen with e.g. four-wheel sedans. See also Gathering History.

Invasion Of Privacy

I find that there has been increasing aggression, in recent years, with regard to invasion of privacy. I asked a company to increase a monthly premium -- as simple as that. They asked me to sign a statement (quote): "I waive any right to privacy." Any right? I wrote: "I am merely requesting a specific increase ... For this I give my consent." They wrote back: "Legislation dictates we obtain Authority ... In your case however ..." So in my case they can override what legislation dictates? I don't buy it. OBSERVATION: It would seem far more natural and normal to put over a personal request: "Hey, won't you give us some information ... ? It would help us like this ..."

Analyzing Instability

I met with another minister this morning. He has had a particularly good run as a minister -- but he hit serious instability. My own most serious instability cost our Church about 10% of the congregation. His has cost him about 50%. My analysis was that the spiritual life and experience of his Church was not carried by a wide enough base. This left him in a vulnerable position for quite some time. His analysis was that he had lost personal contact with the people. He had also been thinking along my lines.

Thomas' Story

I received this photo in my Inbox yesterday -- titled "Relaxing with Thomas' Story". We were on a hike last week, and we stopped here for a picnic. In front of us was our local peak, Lion's Head. Here's the story I was telling. On Lion's Head there is a tree. Under that tree, one of our past ministers used to prepare his Sunday sermons. But one day he suffered a heart attack under the tree, and he died (that was Rev. Ken Rutherford).

Managing Ministry

Last week, I went flat out in ministry -- it was all go. I couldn't understand how I had so underestimated my week. This week, I am going flat out for just two days, maybe three. For the rest, I'm on a skeleton programme. OBSERVATION: In my early ministry, there only was one speed: flat out -- until I burnt out. Then I tried managed ministry. But ministry is unlike anything else -- I don't think there's much that's managed about it. Now, in later ministry, I think I've learnt to trust my judgement as to whether action is required, or whether I need a break. I won't be depriving the congregation.

God's Justice

One of our congregation was on trial, and there was dirty fighting. People might imagine that justice is clean, but there can be dirty fighting: surprise evidence, media manipulation, pro forma threats, and so on. I commented to a Church member: "God's justice will be done." Our member said: "God's justice? What do you mean God's justice? There is only one kind of justice, and that's justice!"

Sea Point: My Turf

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Here's another photo of my turf from the hill. I was miffed in 2009 when some small-time hood claimed that the ground I was walking on (outside our Church office) was "my [his] turf". Ever since then I have jokingly referred to it as "my turf". The photo is in 3-D. Lazily squint your eyes until the images overlap and snap together. You may click on the photo(s) for 420k resolution and enhanced 3D. Our Church is just about dead centre.

Tracked Down

Recently a UK journalist tracked me down. He did his homework, because he was looking for something that only a few people on the planet may have: photographs of Rongorongo, Beru, in the Republic of Kiribati. He was writing an article on the missionary and martyr Alfred Sadd. There's a very interesting biography in print: Alfred Sadd of the Gilberts: A Memoir. I lived in Sadd's house as a boy, where he had scribbled a message on a post at the back -- something like: "The Japs are here." The photo shows the Church in which he ministered, in Rongorongo. It receives a mention in the biography. (I took the photo).

Easter Bunny

Our Sunday School teachers like to hand out Easter gifts to the congregation, and this brings everybody joy. This year, however, there was a question as to whether certain kinds of gifts would be appropriate. The greatest suspicion fell on Easter Bunny (poor thing). This gives me occasion to touch on one of my wider policies, as minister. I said that if we would insist on correctness in all things in our Church, then we might well scrap a lot of what we do, because ministry by members means taking risks with regard to correctness. The whole is greater than the parts, and we need to be able to rejoice in people's desire to glorify God, and their desire to show one another love. However, with regard to Easter Bunny, I said that his/her credentials wouldn't seem to be too good. It looks as though Easter Bunny is out this Easter. OBSERVATION: A special interest of our Sunday School teachers is to make what they do at Easter meaningful, and relevant to the Biblical Easter message.

Divine Appointment

We had one of those extraordinary happenings this month, which I have witnessed before in our Church (see e.g. Divine Hall Hire). We needed an additional leader for our Youth -- but one who would take on responsibility for the Youth. Some of our Youth leaders can't do that due to their schedules. I approached a member E. But, before Church the Sunday before last, I was informed that it didn't work out with E. (the same story of schedules). Then, at the end of our service, the same Sunday, I was informed that a member M. had offered to do it. I said: "Did M. know we were trying to recruit someone?" The answer was no, she didn't. OBSERVATION: It confirms my view of the Church -- that it is God's creation, not humanly engineered. It's a file photo.

"Please Remind Me"

One of my more useful tricks in ministry is to say to people: "Please remind me." And sometimes: "I really don't mind if you do." That way, I am not worrying about who or what I might have forgotten, and the onus does not finally seem to be on me. It is a liberating, helpful little sentence.

Difficult Paper

I find serious academic papers extremely difficult. This is because one needs to settle on a consistent approach to one's subject (usually out of many possible approaches), because one needs to reach a high degree of conceptual clarity (often regarding complex issues), because one needs to produce well-referenced work -- and in this case (worse) because there is a deadline. Today is my day off, and I devoted almost the whole day to a paper. The task is to find a means of integrating the personal and social dimensions of the gospel. There are those who say it can't be done, there are those who say it is a very awkward question -- and I can't think of an approach which I myself consider satisfactory. I think I have a satisfactory approach in my paper -- but it is very difficult to articulate consistently, clearly.

Not Going Anywhere

A rumour circulated in our Church that I was leaving. Yesterday I said to the congregation (quote): "I don't even need to mention the rumour, because the answer is simple. I have no plans to leave this Church. As far as it depends on me, I have no plans to go anywhere." I hadn't finished what I was saying, and the congregation applauded. OBSERVATION: Wife M. gave me a few simple instructions before she died. One of them was to stay. That helps.

"Resistant Sin-Mud"

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Our Church received a new consignment of Bibles this week (we then heavily subsidise them, to "shift" them). So I asked a 10-year-old girl from Limpopo to say a prayer over them in Church. She decided to compose a few words of her own to read out before the prayer. Here they are (above). You may click on the image to enlarge. It is this kind of input which so enriches and balances our Church life.

My Marks Take A Hit

With my 9th seminary assignment this term, my marks took their biggest hit. I believe this is what happened: Mostly I'm strictly professional in the way that I approach my assignments -- but once in a while I get fed up. A professor, who presents himself as being broad-minded and ecumenical (he's a prominent member of the World Council of Churches), characterised a major theological stream as being "cheap" and "dangerous". I happen to be a part of that theological stream -- as are most of the ministers I think of as my friends. Without addressing the issues, I responded: "I do wonder how my assignments would be received if I were to refer here to [my professor's] views as being cheap or dangerous." OBSERVATION: I suspect that my marks took a hit not because I criticised my professor, but because I wasted precious space going off-topic. (My average for the course still lies above 99%).

Priority Investigation

At the end of last year, I blogged about a brute force attack on my office computer. These may not come cheap for those who launch them (see DarkNet). In other words, they may not be idle pastimes. That episode has now become a "priority investigation" of the police. Today, I still cannot access this blog securely from my office computer (I don't access it from there). I still intend to reveal who I think was behind this, but at this moment my life would seem to be interesting enough.

Salt-Works

This is a photo of the Cerebos salt-works about 150km/90mi north of Cape Town. It borders on the farm where I frequently take a break. I sometimes take a walk along the narrow dykes between salt evaporation ponds -- also called salterns. The pinkish colour is due to algal concentrations, and indicates salinity.

Legal Advice

As a minister, I frequently consult attorneys for advice. A minister -- at least an urban minister -- needs to do this. Some people resigned from our Church -- from membership and from ministry. Then they "un-resigned" a ministry. I sent them an e-mail: "Would you kindly clarify." When I read the reply, I picked up the phone and called an attorney. She was unhesitating. She said we should take immediate and decisive action. Our ex-members commented, via e-mail: "You consulted an attorney ... You have an arrogant and authoritative manner ... It appears you lack confidence ... You need a spiritual counsellor more than a solicitor ..." and so on. OBSERVATION: However, the attorney's reaction confirmed, I think, that I was exercising sound judgement in consulting her. Even so, this matter wasn't solely up to me. I then consulted our leadership -- who soft-pedalled on the advice received, and this may prove to be better.

Christian Conferences

Many years ago, I attended a world conference in the USA. I asked the president what the purpose of the conference was. I thought he'd say something about the conference programme. But he said something like this: "It is the Lord's opportunity. He forges friendships that He will use in His Kingdom." Since then, Christian conferences, for me, are not so much about the programme. Also, I now routinely plan time "next to" a conference or seminar -- often not knowing what for -- because that is likely to be God's time more than the conference itself. OBSERVATION: However, I don't really agree with Keith Ferrazzi ("Never Eat Alone") that one should select "primary targets" at a conference. I believe that one needs to depend on God to make the connections. Through the above conference, incidentally, the president himself became a friend. He had an oval office, too -- so I made a few jokes about the president and me and the oval office.

Stirred Up

A young man spoke to me -- a young man from another Church. He said that he was all stirred up. He just wanted to marry and settle down. I told him that the Holy Spirit was stirring him up, and he needed to talk to his minister. His minister said: "The Holy Spirit was stirring him up all right. I guess it was you who prompted him to confess to us. He's been placed under probation for sexual offences."

Hiking Party

I hiked up our local hill tonight -- that's my turf below. This honey was one of the hiking party -- with her mother and a Church elder. We had a picnic on top of the hill.

Intellectual Property

Wife M. wrote a doctoral dissertation. We discussed it many times between us, but I hadn't ever looked at the finished product. After her death, I decided to back it up -- and then I took a look. I thought it was brilliant -- some of the best stuff I have seen. In her last week of life, I said to her: "Three publishers had an interest in your work, is that right?" She said: "No, more." But she could only remember the name of one of them -- and it was the one she didn't like. OBSERVATION: So at the moment I am left with mysteries. I am told that in terms of her will, this is intellectual property, shared 50/50 between son M. me. We were discussing it today.

Seminary And Second/Third Language

A significant difference between studies in the USA and studies in South Africa is the attitude towards English. For example, Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena states on a grading rubric that English grammar, syntax, spelling, and punctuation are "necessary components to theological writing". One could lose a fifth of one's mark / grade for inadequacies there. By way of contrast, the head of a programme at the South African Theological Seminary in Rivonia states that "we never penalise students who have second/third language deficiencies." (There are also variations or exceptions within such institutions).

The Toughest Return

I suspect that the authorities have released a group of the toughest from jail. Well, they are the toughest, but they've all turned up in our suburb at the same time. They were camped out at the Church this morning. I said to our caretaker: "I'm calling security." He said: "That's not for security. That's for the police." So I called the police, and left the Church by another entrance / exit.

10 Years' Difference

I collected a new passport today. The photos show the difference of ten years -- my old and my new passport photos, left and right. I shan't comment on what I think the photos reveal, except that the newest one reveals a broken cheekbone and a broken nose. I needed to remove my spectacles for the new photo. OBSERVATION: They were efficient with the passport, but it would seem safe to say that my new ID is lost in the system. You may click on the photos to enlarge.

DRC Darling

The photo expands my catalogue of local Churches -- this being the Dutch Reformed Church (DRC, or NGK) Darling, about 70km / 45mi north of Cape Town. The congregation was founded in 1853, and this sanctuary built in 1938 -- designed by Louw & Louw (see also Graafwater Steeple). As is often the case with Dutch Reformed Churches of this era, the roof of the spire is built of brick. You may click on the image to enlarge to VGA.

Myelofibrosis (Bone Marrow Cancer)

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When Mirjam (my wife) was diagnosed with myelofibrosis (bone marrow cancer), I sought examples of what this might mean -- but there weren't any "out there". I am posting this because I believe it may be a help to others. It is a graph (click on it to enlarge) of Mirjam's vital haemoglobin levels -- with comments on a few things that were happening at particular points in time. My numbers below represent the number of weeks after diagnosis as shown on the graph -- a very late diagnosis. A woman's lowest normal haemoglobin level is about 12 (the top of the graph). 1: At diagnosis, Mirjam was sleeping as much as four-fifths of the time. They started her immediately with chemotherapy. But 2: the chemotherapy failed to improve the haemoglobin level for more than a couple of weeks. 5: She received her first blood transfusion -- but notice that she sank fast after this. 10: Here she was critical -- as is any haemoglobin level as low as 5. 11: Another blood transfusion -- as is the case with all the sharp peaks on the graph. At this point she started with EPO (a performance enhancement drug). I think this was good for her, but it took a while to kick in. 15: Mirjam suffered various small haemorrhages -- not a good sign. 18: Chemotherapy was abandoned, and thalidomide treatment began. From now on, she only slept half of the time. 21: They tried a new chemotherapy "punch". 23: Notice how the thalidomide kicked in. This brought months of stability. They were taking an outside chance with the thalidomide. 31: Mirjam had total memory wipe-outs, and episodes of severe pain -- very disturbing, but passing. 38: There were signs of heart failure here, which continued. 44: Whoa, what was happening here? It turned out that there were things going on apart from the haemoglobin levels. 48: The hospital clammed up: information blackout. 51: A specialist stroked her cheek and called her "our miracle girl". There were haemorrhages again. 55: Episodes of severe pain and extreme nausea. In my estimation, all the signs of leukaemic transformation. 57: A blood transfusion revived Mirjam for a few days. 58: The same as 55. Very rapid decline, and sudden death. They said that the cause of death was unknown. I think, liver failure. OBSERVATION: I need to add, for those who might be experiencing a similar situation, that Mirjam had peace of heart, and this made it ten times better than it might seem in writing. For us, it was not the "cruel" disease it may be described as.

Victim Of My Own Policy

Alas, I fell victim to my own policy -- actually, our policy, enacted under my ministry. I bought a telephone answering machine. It was the last one, on special, so it was a case of buy now think later -- an unauthorised expenditure, which one does not do in our Church. I am not even going to put this to our leadership, or I shall be in the soup together with the member of staff I recently blogged about (and my mistake is several times bigger than his). At least the answering machine was on special. And it talks to me when I press the buttons, so now I have company.

Starting Over

Wife M.'s heart was with local Church ministry. That is what remained as she shed the various activities of her life. She said that her Church groups were "bursting at the seams", and so they were. She said, too, that they brought her great fulfilment. But now they are leaderless. I have made the deliberate decision not to be "hands on" in their continuation. From my usual "platforms", I have emphasised basic spiritual principles that apply (especially, focus on Christ, and ministry by members). I have had discussions with people behind the scenes -- but not because I took the initiative. People are keeping me informed -- and I am happy with what I hear.

Declining Attendance (Not)

A fellow (on-line) student wrote in an assignment this week: "The attendance in most Churches is declining." I commented: "I think this needs to be qualified. This would surely be a local phenomenon ..." (I'm not sure which part of the world she is in). In our region, I have attended many Churches during the past few years, and so often I have seen booming Churches -- many of which appear on this blog (click on Local Churches at the top of the left-hand column). On the right is the New Apostolic Church in Hout Bay Heights, just south of Cape Town, which I attended last month. OBSERVATION: The "insularity" of my fellow student's comment is something I often come across -- and not only with regard to Church attendance, but various features of the Church.

Curious Call

I received a call from a newspaper reporter yesterday. She asked me whether our Church had seen a dip in attendance in recent months. I said I thought that our attendance had been pretty much on the level. I added: "Last Sunday, the Church was quite full." However, I wasn't thinking of our holiday / vacation period when I was away. But then she asked me how to spell my name. Where did she find my number if she couldn't spell my name? Hmm, there could be various explanations for this conversation.

Ministers Change

Ministers change. I would think that I am profoundly different now to what I was when I started in this Church, many years ago. But there may also be significant changes in the short term. I would think that I am significantly different now to what I was two years ago. One problem in this, though, is that there may be nothing to signal the change. Members may think that their minister is exactly the same as he or she was. OBSERVATION: I would think that one of the most profound changes in my own ministry is greater trust in God. This touches virtually everything.

The Blame

I met yesterday with my ex academic mentor K., at Hout Bay Harbour. I have received my grades for my first 9 out of 24 assignments for my latest postgraduate course at Fuller Theological Seminary -- and very sadly, I forfeited one-half of one percent (my average is 99.5% so far). This naturally raises the question whether it is K.'s past mentoring which has failed me here, or whether (a remote possibility, I admit) I the student might have failed. But I think, it has to be the whole US grading system that has failed. OBSERVATION: The photo shows K. at the lighthouse in Hout Bay. He expected me to walk through sea spray to reach this.

Avoid Paper-Chases

A Church consultant taught me this, many years ago. If there's any possibility that one could be dealing with a malicious situation, as a minister, one should not feed one's opponent(s) with personal responses – most of all not in writing. One should by and large stop communication -- no matter what tricks they use to get a response. Then one should deal with the issue through established channels, and not reveal what one is doing. OBSERVATION: If there's writing, and if a situation is malicious, words can be turned any which way. They can be sent out in mass mailings, too (I've experienced this) -- not to speak of situations being strung out endlessly when they should have been "canned".

Adventurous Nonagenarian

I took one of our elderly members -- a past deaconess -- for a spin in my three-wheeler this morning. I said: "How many years do you have now?" She said: "Too many to tell." However, her 90th birthday party is featured elsewhere on this blog. See also Motorbike Ride.

Favourite Sight

Here's one of my favourite sights. It's the plain that surrounds the Berg River estuary or marshlands. One finally sees it as one comes over this hill. It means that I am almost on the farm.

Loss Of Control

A terminal illness means the loss of control. Wife M., in stages, lost control of her directorship, her editorship, cooking, shopping, the laundry, the garden, staff, mail, her ministry, her friends, her finances ... the cat! It all slipped out of her control in a muddled kind of way. At the same time, there were many ways in which I had to take things over -- as well as continuing in ministry -- and the pressure increased. This meant that I, too, abandoned control of some things. Today, our domestic worker unexpectedly turned up with her daughter, and they blitzed the house. She must have taken pity on me -- she's like that. And I gave them the contents of two kitchen cupboards -- what's a widower to do with culinary stuff?

Fulness Of "Life Situations"

One of the great privileges of ministry is that one comes face to face with a great fulness of "life situations". These would seem to be far beyond those which any "ordinary" person would experience: birth, death, marriage, poverty, infidelity, and a thousand other things -- many of which one experiences many times over. In addition to this, in urban ministry one has to do with the landlord, the lunatic, the tycoon, the prostitute, the trickster, and so on. OBSERVATION: Not least, this is all very useful when looking at one's own life, as one has so many examples by which to evaluate things.