Counselling needs to be selfless. I have typically counselled one-third of my own congregation(s), not to speak of people close to them. In such a situation, one might be thinking what will happen if one doesn't tread safely. But one cannot go thinking of the implications for the minister or the Church. In the past I have counselled key people in the Church, and told them what I thought they needed to hear. One couple left my vestry speechless and in tears. As a result of that, our finances could have been impacted. I might have heard about it at the Church Meeting. But the following day, there was a breakthrough. OBSERVATION: Very occasionally, things do go wrong -- but mostly this strengthens bonds, and proves to be the right way to go.