I was speaking to an 81-year-old Xhosa woman today, about her marriage. She said she saw her future husband paying a formal visit to her parents one day. She said to herself: "Whoa. What is going on here?" He was in fact there to ask for her hand in marriage -- and to negotiate the bride-price, in which he was successful. "They didn't even consult me!" she said. "Next thing, I was his wife!" I asked her how many beasts were paid for her. She said she did not know it herself. "In those days, such things were not spoken about. They stayed with the Great Ones."
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