A year after my wife died, I reflected here on the Church without her. I said that Mirjam, as her health declined, put great effort into brief appearances in the Church. Therefore the Church did not see what I saw in private, and were in a sense more shocked than I was when she died. There was grief which would not go away, and little was said. One member said to me, "When Mirjam died, we all died." But members were "famous" in reorganising the Church. They in turn said that Mirjam had prepared a lot of this before hand. But after several months, disheartenment and negativity set in -- sometimes as black as night. Then gradually, as one year came around, people received new vision, and the faith that God was with us. Amazingly, the Church had a budget surplus in this dark time -- usually an indication of health. What we still needed to regain after a year was momentum.
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