I speak from experience, not from authority. The mixing of European marriage practices with African marriage practices is the origin of much true confusion today. I myself followed the European custom of engagement (a pledge to marry) at the same time as I followed the African custom of lobola (more of which below). Finally I was married by the European custom of ... marriage. Lobola, in Africa, used to amount to the same as marriage -- and it still does, according to Customary Law. My own (now) African family regarded lobola as crucial to marriage. If I had not got past lobola, I surely would not have obtained my bride. Yet I myself interpreted lobola (apart from the exchanges) just as one would interpret a European engagement, no more and no less. Yet what is lobola? Is it marriage or is it engagement? I myself, as a marriage officer, have married people who had already been married through lobola and had children. Europeans may think of lobola as invalid, while Africans may think of marriage as unnecessary. And what if a European obtains a woman through lobola? What is she then? A fiancée or a wife? And vice versa? OBSERVATION: It is said that lobola, today, has been largely Christianised. My own lobola was a worshipful occasion.
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