Why It Was Sacrificial

Throughout my ministr(ies), while I alone was called to ministry, my late wife Mirjam was my co-pastor. Her involvement in the local Church was large. But here's what may happen (and did happen) in such a situation. Mirjam headed four thriving Church groups, and the Sunday worship team. She also had a crucial role in the Church's socials and fund-raising, and offered regular guidance to the Sunday School and Youth. Most of these were established under our ministry, and grew. And I myself worked overtime nearly every day. Through all these years, we received a modest salary, and provision for one car / automobile. But this wasn't working. It was trying to put a quart into a pint pot. So I bought myself a three-wheel pickup at my own expense, while Mirjam drove the car. Now we were doing better -- for ministry. But this wasn't all. One couldn't keep a household going, and maintain a manse inside and out, while activity increased in the Church, and ministry expanded. So we employed domestic help -- apart from other measures. This all needed to be paid for. And we paid for it from investments -- which plummeted. How could we justify this? More in a moment. But apart from all this, our entertainment expenses soared, among other things -- and I was too reluctant to reclaim. I had an aversion to asking for anything. As Mirjam edged closer to death (she had cancer), she kept telling me that we had to set these things right. I didn't understand her. She was dying. Finally in 2012, following her death, a consultant (of DNA Consulting) examined what had been going on, and he reported in writing that Mirjam and I had been "sacrificial", and had not known how to speak about it. Some members, after this, maliciously spoke of the minister's "greed". The consultant "ordered" that the Church should set these things on a sound footing, immediately. They shouldn't wait. And he gave us advice on how. So what had kept Mirjam and me going in this "irresponsible" way? We said to ourselves: "It's going to be all right." When the day comes, we reasoned, the Church will pay our full pension and retirement housing -- because they said so. But it wasn't all right. Enough for one post so far.