This one's just about "brass tacks" of ministry. Organising a memorial service. Here's what I normally do. I express my condolences to the family, and give them basic Biblical perspective. If the body is there, I say a prayer and benediction by the bedside, with anyone who wants to be present. I ask what arrangements have been made with the undertaker, and assure them that the undertakers ... well, undertake for everything. I ask for one person to give a tribute (there may be more) -- alternatively, I ask for a tribute that I may read off. I ask whether anything may be said about the faith of the deceased (which to me is very important). I ask whether there will be any special item of remembrance (which potentially lifts the whole service). I ask if there are any preferred hymns and readings. I remind the family (if needed) to provide flowers for the service, and a brochure. And I paint a picture of how the service will proceed. I close the session with a prayer, and offer the Church's support. In fact, what I describe here may be spread over two or three sessions. OBSERVATION: I also ask the Church secretary to organise the Church, a musician, and tea if required. If the deceased is a member or faithful adherent, I waive every fee that I possibly can.
3 comments:
Our custom is to have memorial services on the day of death, and the 3rd, 9th and 40th days, and thereafter annually on the anniversary of death. The family need to provide koliva (main ingredient boiled wheat -- except a grain of wheat die etc). Some of them are sometimes skipped because of circumstances, but the big one is the 40 days.
I was asked once to conduct a memorial service for a member of the Orthodox Church, and was presented with a curious grain-cake -- perhaps what you speak of.
That actual recipe varies, but it usually includes wheat, nuts and sometimes pomeganate seeds.
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