The Power Of We

I have been married for two years to a fine woman who calls herself "a Xhosa child". With this in mind, I continually enter her culture(s). My own greatest struggle in this has been what I have called "the power of we". It is not the same as "the power of we" in European culture: family honour, for instance, or an influential family head. Rather, to put it too simply, the self is gone. If the self is gone, then (to a greater or lesser extent) so too are doors and walls, personal conversations, discreet space, own possessions, private bedrooms, recovery time -- around the clock. On the other hand, if one has a need or a problem, one won't find oneself alone with it. It is "our" problem then, and we are there for you. No, with you.