Detrimental Disbelief

At the end of 2009, my wife Mirjam was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She experienced a year of decline, and died. One of the most difficult aspects of the situation for me -- something that many others have experienced, too -- was that people refused to believe it -- or believe me. Some of course did. I found five kinds of disbelief:

• One shouldn't think death. No no, no, that couldn't happen.
• She wouldn't die. She wasn't dying. God would heal her.
• I had no faith -- reporting that she was in decline, or gravely ill.
• I had lost my mind. I was completely exaggerating the situation. And
• There was anger against me not doing something to save her.

OBSERVATION: The big problem here is that such things put a distance between people at just the time it isn't needed. One is facing the struggle of a lifetime, and various people won't believe it. In my pastoral visitation, I have been aware of this, and have sought to provide the acceptance and belief that people need. It can be traumatic for the dying person, too, that people will not accept what they are experiencing.