Minister's Job Description

I came across the following (humorous) minister's job description today:

WANTED: Pastor.
SALARY: R10 000.
HOURS: Indeterminate. On call 24 hours a day.

WE OFFER: Free manse, transport.The applicant will serve as manager, administrator, and correspondent. He will have experience as a preacher, teacher, and evangelist. He will be a competent writer and speech maker, and will serve as a decorative piece at public functions. He will also be something of an editor. He will have experience as a social worker, counsellor, spiritual advisor, visitor of the sick, and comforter of the bereaved. He will serve as theologian in residence, interpreter of the church at large, and official delegate to all conferences. He will serve as a one-man emergency squad. He will be qualified as a commissioner of oaths, and will offer occasional legal advice, arbitrate disputes, and serve as public relations officer. He will have a basic business sense, and will be a capable salesman. He will also be skilled in marketing and program planning, and will recruit and train workers where available. An in-depth knowledge of computers is recommended, with particular emphasis on word processing, desktop publishing, and databases. A working knowledge of public address systems is desirable. The applicant will also be called upon occasionally as a garden supervisor, caretaker, and artist. He will have a blameless life and spiritual walk. It is, of course, assumed that the applicant's wife will be included under the above arrangements, to work half-days.