Here's a post I inexplicably shelved. I was stunned when my wife Mirjam died -- even though I could see it coming a long way off. But after her death, day by day, I seemed to find my feet. I got back into ministry in less than a month. I resumed all my activities. Then 2½ months after her death, I unexpectedly ran into the worst -- a really "bad trip". I had helped Mirjam during her last weeks and days, very nearly to the end. During that time, it seemed like a movie screen -- as though I was merely watching it happen. I just needed to get us through. But suddenly, it seemed that it all came back to me in pictures -- only now with the emotions attached. I was so shaken, I couldn't have continued ministry if it hadn't been for my friends, and my own ministerial training, coaxing me through. 01/03
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