No Separate Counselling

I have conducted thousands of counselling sessions. Many sessions included three parties: two of them being the parties to be counselled, and the counsellor, me. But should one counsel those two parties separately? My answer is no. Don't do it. Don't go there. Only in dire emergency. Where two parties are counselled, they must be seen together. Here is why:

• The Bible advises that all three parties meet. It does so for good reason
• Counselling a single party opens up a direct channel to potential abuse

• There could be another party out there who is really not happy with "one side"

• The counsellor himself or herself may be slandered for a private discussion 

• It needs to be a very astute counsellor to "see" a party who is not present

• The counsellor exposes himself or herself to becoming biased

• Both parties of counselees need to be present to "get the picture" 

• There are crucial dynamics one cannot see if only one party is present