Marriage Timeline

My late wife Mirjam was born a Mennonite. Some Mennonites had the custom where a spouse would name their replacement -- particularly where they were very ill, or in great danger. As early as March 2010 -- three months after being diagnosed with terminal cancer -- Mirjam named Ester as her replacement. One needs to bear in mind that she was at this time -- ten months before her death -- slipping into a critical condition again and again. Mirjam died on 4 January 2011. This is how things then unfolded:

• In February 2011, Ester and I sat down together for the first time, simply to "put Mirjam's instruction on the table". 

• In March 2011, we decided to begin to explore the instruction. We called it a "journey", without known destination. 

• In July 2011, we had our first date -- a short walk and a picnic on the Liesbeeck Trail. 

• Also in July 2011, I met some of Ester's family (about a hundred of them) at a celebration. It was a clan! 

• In September 2011, I introduced our friendship to our Church elders.

• In October 2011, I introduced our friendship to our whole Church leadership. 

• Also in October 2011, Ester for the first time met two of my family. 

• In November 2011, I introduced Ester to our Church members. 

• In January 2012, I suggested marriage to her (emotional) father. 

• In April 2012, we were engaged at the Berg River.

• In May 2012, we celebrated our engagement at the Church.

• In June 2012, we began months of premarital counselling.

• Also in June 2012, I negotiated the bride price with her father. In South African law, this is deemed to be marriage. 

• We set the wedding date for January 2013 -- more than two years after Mirjam's death.